The One That Got Away
by Savbiker
Summary: Christmas one-shot. Who knew celebrating Christmas without Dimitri would be so hard?  Who knew that after all we'd been through… fate would decide to tear us apart?  The tears flow freely as I hug myself, desperate for Dimitri to be by my side once more.


**A/N: A one-shot set during Christmas. RxD. Inspiration from the song 'The One That Got Away' by Katy Perry, but if you don't know that song, it's alright.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own VA.**

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It is Christmas again.

This occasion known by many as Jesus Christ's birthday and the happiest day of the year.

I too used to enjoy Christmas-what with all the snow great to conduct snowball fights in, and getting to see everyone together-namely Mia, Eddie, Adrian, Sydney, Christian, Lissa, and of course Dimitri.

This Christmas, hardly anything has changed. Lissa still forces me to hang up the decorations and set up the Christmas tree. We still have potluck similar to that of the last ten years' when we had graduated from St. Vladimir's. Nothing could ruin everyone's happy mood, I muse, observing the way Lissa skips around like an ebullient lamb finalizing preparations.

I escape out into the cool evening air and head to the back of the house, settling into the same spot up on the hill where Dimitri and I always watched the sunset every Christmas.

As I reach out to twine my fingers around a stalk of blooming roses at the side, my gaze falls upon a tiny tattoo on my left wrist.

It is half a heart, black in colour. Such a tiny tattoo… but the memories contained are many and meaningful.

"_Roza…" Dimitri slid his hands around my face and brought me closer to him. Voluntarily, I snuggled close to him on our couch, waiting to hear what he had to say. _

"_I was thinking… that since I didn't manage to get you something for your eighteenth birthday… is there anything you want?"_

_I smiled, touched, and reached out to tuck a silky darn brown lock behind his ear, gently placing a kiss on his lips. "You've already given me the best present ever, Comrade. I don't need another."_

_I held my hand up, the ring on my fourth finger catching the light, the intricately woven diamonds glittering blindly. I felt my heart swell as Dimitri smiled affectionately at the ring he had given me._

"_Besides that, I do want to get you something, Rose. You're only eighteen once." Dimitri intertwined our fingers and brought my hand down to rest on his lap._

_I immediately thought of the tattoo parlor I had walked by shopping with Lissa the other day. I had actually stopped to flip through the catalogue, and probably would've gone in had Lissa not dragged me away to Victoria's Secret. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks, thinking of the fun Dimitri and I had when I'd worn the lingerie Lissa and I had bought then._

"_Let's get matching tattoos." I giggled, feeling silly, like I was a schoolgirl infatuated with her boyfriend. _

_In a way, I was._

"_Tattoos?" Dimitri laughed. "What, like snakes? Is that it, zmeyette?"_

"_Snakes aren't exactly the symbols of love." I snorted. _

"_I was thinking of something like… like me having half a heart and you the other." I felt quite shy explaining this to him._

"_It's your birthday, Roza. If heart tattoos are what you want, then that's what we'll get." Dimitri's arms encircled my waist as he kissed my forehead. "I love you. Forever and ever."_

_Lost in the arms of my lover, I rested my head on his chest, thinking about just how lucky I was to have someone like him in my life._

A chilly wind blows, alerting me to the presence of tears on my cheeks. I trace the half-heart with one finger, feeling the loss of its partner.

In the distance, Christmas caroling starts. Listening intently, I make out the merry tune of 'Jingle Bell Rock'. Slowly, the band of singers traipse down the pavement, getting further and further away from me.

Unable to keep a reign over my emotions, tears stream down my face and drop to the ground. I sob, not caring about what other people would think of this Guardian Hathaway, crying by herself during Christmas.

Who knew celebrating Christmas without Dimitri would be so hard?

Who knew that after all we'd been through… fate would decide to tear us apart?

The tears flow freely as I hug myself, desperate for Dimitri to be by my side once more.

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"_NO, Dimitri… … …" I shot to him, my legs giving way underneath me. I cradled his head in my hands, my tears stinging my eyes as I eyed his pale, lifeless skin. The two puncture marks on his neck._

_His unseeing brown eyes._

_I screamed and screamed and screamed, refusing to accept the fact that he was well and truly gone. I hugged him close to my body, missing the warmth it usually emanated. Memories of Dimitri floated through my head as I sobbed harder… him proposing to me, our marriage, our honeymoon._

"_Damn it, Comrade… You promised me! You promised me forever! Why do you have to leave me so soon? I'm not ready for you to go yet…" Incoherent, an empty ache swelled in my chest._

_I lay there for what felt like days- I was briefly aware of guardians trying to get me away from him, but nothing they said would make me budge. _

_I felt like in that moment, those few seconds, my whole world had been torn apart and shattered, leaving nothing but memories behind. _

_What happened to forever?_

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There is no way to describe the magnitude of the loss of a loved one, much less of your partner. It isn't just any dismal experience you get over quickly-it is so horrible, so traumatizing, that you would do anything at all, even die, if it meant you could be together with him again.

But I couldn't commit suicide.

I wasn't nearly that weak. Joining Dimitri would mean that I would have a happy ending… But many others wouldn't-the victims of the Strigoi I would not have killed had I decided to die.

Likewise, Lissa had also talked to me, trying to tell me that Dimitri would've wanted me to carry on living and saving lives. That he wouldn't want me to wallow in sorrow over his passing.

That he would want me to move on.

I had just put on a fake smile and reassured Lissa that I would be fine. Shockingly, she sucked it right up and did not bring up the topic once more.

The truth was that none of them could understand.

None of them could understand how painful it was to know that you could never see your soul mate again.

I catch myself seeing a brown duster out shopping, and thinking _wow, Dimitri would like this_. I catch myself dialing his number to ask him when his shift ends.

And in this instance, I catch myself admiring the sunset, imagining Dimitri lying next to me, our hands interwined.

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As if right on cue, the snow begins to fall around me, landing on the ground. I watch as the sun slowly makes its way beneath the clouds, casting a lovely tangerine glow on the many blankets of snow. I inhale the cool, frosty air silently, longing for my friend, my lover, my everything.

In that moment, I turn to the side as I feel Dimitri's presence. His translucent hand clasps over mine as he smiles a gorgeous, warm grin at me. He lays his wrist next to mine, fixing the broken heart whole.

I take him in, not wanting to say anything as I lay back, enjoying the moment, just lying beside Dimitri and watching the sunset together like old times.

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Slowly, the emptiness in my chest fills up as I lay with him. All the pieces of my heart seem to fit right back in place, making me whole again. I feel Dimitri's love surround me, engulfing and warming me.

If even for a few moments… my world is perfect again.

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**A/N: Hi everyone, hope you've enjoyed this Christmas! I'm still working on my other story, so I thought I'd get up a Christmas one-shot for ya'all first. I actually tried to write in present tense, something I've never done before in my life, so sorry if the outcome is disastrous. Somehow, I'm quite dissatisfied with this one-shot. **

**I hope you guys liked it, and if there is a good response (in terms of ****reviews****), I will write another fluffy oneshot for Christmas (or rather, Boxing Day).**

**So ****please review ****whether you liked it or not. If you didn't, feel free to tell me it sucked, but say where, of course.**

**If you did like it… let me know, because I write the best when I'm the most encouraged. :)**


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